3-6

I am reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  My friend Ginny recommended it.  It is the gorgeous book about being thankful to your soul.  Not just thankful so you can be happy, but thankful because if Christ lives in you, that is what you are.  So as I reflect through this book, I realize that for the most part I see beautfiul things all the time, little birds, new flowers coming up, sunlight across the floor, my husband putting his shoes away because he knows I love that, "projects" all over the house, tiny kid shoes sitting by the door, Elizabeth's little smile, and JT's "I wuvj you.." 

However, starting at about three in the afternoon until Brian comes home at six, I am so ungrateful and end up like roaring lion.  I cannot meet JT's exhaustion and Elizabeth's fussy time with joy and thanksgiving.  So even though I can see beauty when it is easy, I suppose at the core of my sinful self, I am not that thankful.  I am not thankful that I get to stay home with my children come 4:30 yet that is what God has called me to do. I have the wisdom to know that some day I will miss 4:30 and its craziness, but for the past three years I have dreaded it everyday.  I know why.  I love to be quiet.  I love my alone time.  However the world is not about me.  And at 4:30 that is not my reality. It is loud, angry, and full of angst.  As I write this blogpost I realize perhaps it is because I am loud and angry and ultimately extraordinarily selfish. 

However God is certainly bigger than my afternoons.  So I am writing to you, my blog readers, that my goal this Lenten season is to relinquish my 3-6 pm time frame and live in thanksgiving that JT is so tired because he can play so hard and has such a vivid imagination and Elizabeth is fussy because she is one and that is what one year olds do, but she is healthy and so curious that I cannot wait to see all that God has planned for that curious little girl. 

If God is gracious enough to give me the glories of the morning, the sunset, my time with Brian, then He is gracious enough to give me the afternoon.  Please hold me accountable to make sure I live with thanksgiving in every moment of my day.